“Chapel Perilous, that vortex where cosmological speculations, coincidences, and paranoia seem to multiply and then collapse, compelling belief or lunacy, wisdom or agnosticism.” ~Robert Anton Wilson


    Try Not To Laugh

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    NoDoz
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    1979 Pakistan Airlines ad

    Post by NoDoz on Mon May 11, 2009 8:13 pm

    1979 Pakistan Airlines ad

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by NoDoz on Tue May 12, 2009 8:06 pm

    Engrish 101

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by missingyoumadly on Wed May 13, 2009 5:24 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Extant on Wed May 13, 2009 5:35 pm

    I'z stealing your funny cats pic MYM and taking it to other forums. lol!
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by NoDoz on Thu May 14, 2009 1:35 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by missingyoumadly on Thu May 14, 2009 2:24 pm

    The Eater of Meaning
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by missingyoumadly on Thu May 14, 2009 10:26 pm

    A Couple of Idiots Discuss Complex Subjects

    A couple of idiots discuss...


    PERPETUAL MOTION

    "Like when you fall down a bottomless pit?"

    "Kinda, but it's more like when you put two ice cubes next to each other, and they'll never melt because they'll just keep each other cold forever."

    "What if you put two ice cubes next to each other and dropped them down a bottomless pit?"

    "Well they'd drift apart and melt, unless you glued them, but then they wouldn't really be touching."

    "Oh, right."

    ---


    GLOBAL WARMING

    "Every year they say it's global warming, but then like three months later it gets cold again."

    "Yeah, you're right, because at first I'm noticing this change where it's warmer and the days are longer, and I think they're on to something, but then I realize the days aren't getting longer and warmer, they're actually getting shorter and colder, and I'm just like 'this is bullshit.'"

    "I know, it's like every September they're like 'close call guys, we almost got global warming but we JUST missed it!' and that's why science can blow me."

    ---


    LEAP YEARS

    "Shit dude, I like having an extra day, why can't we have them every year?"

    "Well there's a reason you only have the once every four years."

    "Why?"

    "It's like chocolate. If you have it too often you get too used to eat, then you need to eat more. Then we've got years that like right years."

    "Wouldn't we live longer then?"

    "...I think you're right."

    ---


    THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

    "It's like we don't REALLY vote, we just tell the people who do the actual voting how they're supposed to vote."

    "So they're undecided voters, and we tell them how to vote?"

    "Yeah, except they don't HAVE to vote how we tell them to, they can actually vote however they want."

    "That's fucking retarded."

    "I disagree wholeheartedly."

    "Yeah, I guess you're right."

    ---


    THE TIDES

    "So, like, sometimes the ocean water is high, but sometimes it's low."

    "Cause why?"

    "Cause the moon is like a magnet and it attracts the water."

    "I thought magnets only attracted metal."

    "Water's a type of metal."

    "Oh, cool."

    "Also it's one of the noble gasses."

    ---


    HYDROGEN AS A FUEL SOURCE

    "You can put stuff other than gas in your cars?"

    "Only certain cars."

    "What cars?"

    "Well Hydrogen is 2/3 of water, so, like, cars that are 1/3 water."

    "Really?"

    "Yeah, cause like human are 80% water so we use hydrogen and not gasoline, and most cars are like 8%, but if the car is 20% or more water then it can run on hydrogen."

    "Like boats?"

    "Not at all like boats."

    ---


    THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

    "The Butterfly Effect is what happens when a small insignificant event causes other, more major events to occur."

    "Why's it called that?"

    "It's like when a teenage girl gets lost in a foreign country, and as a result hundreds of reporters and thousands of hours of news reports result, and like the teenage girl, butterflies are pretty."

    ---


    ABSOLUTE ZERO

    "Isn't absolute zero like when it can't get any colder?"

    "At all?"

    "At all."

    "Woah."

    "I know."

    "So like, even if it got colder..."

    "It could get infinitely colder, but it wouldn't be anymore cold."

    "Woah."

    "I know."

    "Me too."

    ---


    NIHILISM / DARWINISM

    "So, like, nothing can be known or communicated?"

    "Yeah, because language isn't definite and is open to interpretation."

    "So you might say 'boat' and I might hear 'boat' but I might interpret as 'banana.'"

    "Yeah, so I say 'do you want to go fishing on my boat?' and I'd say 'fishing on a fruit? No chance, sir.' but it's not really a banana, it's a boat?"

    "It's more like 'fishing on a fruit? hell yeah' because in your world you go fishing on bananas."

    "But if I went fishing on a banana, I'd drown."

    "Yeah, so your inferior reality doesn't get passed on to future generations."

    "Ohhhh."

    ---


    KARMA

    "So the whole idea is people will do good, because good will happen to them?"

    "Yeah, and if you do bad, you get bad stuff right back."

    "Who decides who gets what though?"

    "No one decides, no one votes, it's just decided, like, automatically."

    "Like midterm House elections?"

    "Like most elections."

    ---


    THE WATER CYCLE

    "So, like, water dies, right?"

    "Right."

    "Then decomposers break it down into organic matter."

    "Yeah, decomposers are very important in nature."

    "Definitely. Then it rains water seeds, and when the water seeds mix up with the decomposed water, lakes grow."

    ---


    EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY

    "Einstein's theory of relativity is really complicated, and it can be almost impossible to understand what it means."

    "That's E=MC2, right? What does it mean?"

    "When you go really fast, time goes slower..."

    "...Because you get there earlier!"

    "You're catching on, buddy!"

    "Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."

    "..."

    "..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."

    "You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."

    ---


    CORIOLIS EFFECT

    "When you flush a toilet in the United States, it flushes clockwise."

    "Just in the United States?"

    "Just in the United States."

    "Oh, right, because one time I went to China, and when I flushed the toilet, it did like this star-shaped maneuver..."

    "I think that's what Animal Farm was about."

    "Yeah, it's like an allegory for geographical toilet flushing."

    ---


    CRYONICS

    "You know when you reach absolute zero?"

    "Man I went to this football game last year it was like absolute -3, absolute -14 with the wind chill."

    "Yeah, anyway, when you get there you DIE, but you don't really die, you just stay dead until they figure out a way to make you alive again."

    "How do they do that?"

    "They don't know."

    "How do they know they CAN do it?"

    "I think it was on the news that you can do it so that's prolly where they got it from."

    ---


    BLACK HOLES

    "A black hole is this thing in space where light falls."

    "Light falls?"

    "Yeah, space is like a bathtub, and you fill it with light, and black holes are where the light drains out."

    "Where does the light go?"

    "It goes back into space as lightvapor, and when it condensates, that's how a sun is formed."

    "So then suns are really clouds of light?"

    "Yes, and then they rain sunshine." SOURCE
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Fri May 15, 2009 9:52 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Fri May 15, 2009 10:03 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Fri May 15, 2009 11:42 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Extant on Sat May 16, 2009 2:18 am

    I don't grok Americano I'm afraid. Question What does the kid say? "I love turtles?" Classic if so.
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Sun May 17, 2009 8:03 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by splinters on Mon May 18, 2009 8:39 am

    I disagree with the atheist critique.

    They are amongst the MOST easily offended, next to the Evangelicals. Their followers are amongst the most devout of any religion I have seen.

    And yes, spare me the arguments "can you read Atheism is a belief in no religion" I called Atheism a religion deliberately.

    They have their Messiah's Dawkins/Darwin. They have a place of congregation. They have devout faith in the ultimate "truth"
    They have their own books.... don't believe me ?

    check the comments section of any atheist/evangelical arguments... Somewhere on a blog or a comment section, somewhere on the net....


    First

    Fail 3rd

    First

    Jesus Loves you

    Rofl
    OMFG god believers fail

    Hey guys the bible is real my dad is a pastor at Church we pay tithes and bible is real (bible quote here)

    OMG rofl you pricks are too dumb to read the bible ( insert standard leviticus quote here)

    you guys need to get educated and read what experts say (insert promo for Dawkins book here)

    But I do find the others funny, especially the weapon of the catholic church "pope mobile"
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by missingyoumadly on Mon May 18, 2009 9:08 pm

    I'm an atheist. I have a secret crush on Richard Dawkins (but not Darwin). I know no ultimate truth (neither does anyone else). I am offended by ignorance and body odor.

    I think every religion/belief system/named group has extremists, and I am sure there are those (consider for a moment the people who populate the internet. Seriously. Last time I checked the internet was 80% porn and 20% cats. I sincerely hope these people are not representing any group that I belong to lol)

    OK, I'm done. Back to the laughter.

    I fuckin' love this website. Especially the descriptions:

    PLUG WITH A HOLE

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    Pulling out a plug is not a hard work, but it is not always an easy task. Therefore, you need a better solution. This plug comes with a circular cut-out which can help you pull it out easily.


    splinters wrote:I disagree with the atheist critique.

    They are amongst the MOST easily offended, next to the Evangelicals. Their followers are amongst the most devout of any religion I have seen.

    And yes, spare me the arguments "can you read Atheism is a belief in no religion" I called Atheism a religion deliberately.

    They have their Messiah's Dawkins/Darwin. They have a place of congregation. They have devout faith in the ultimate "truth"
    They have their own books.... don't believe me ?

    check the comments section of any atheist/evangelical arguments... Somewhere on a blog or a comment section, somewhere on the net....


    First

    Fail 3rd

    First

    Jesus Loves you

    Rofl
    OMFG god believers fail

    Hey guys the bible is real my dad is a pastor at Church we pay tithes and bible is real (bible quote here)

    OMG rofl you pricks are too dumb to read the bible ( insert standard leviticus quote here)

    you guys need to get educated and read what experts say (insert promo for Dawkins book here)

    But I do find the others funny, especially the weapon of the catholic church "pope mobile"
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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Tue May 19, 2009 9:36 am

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by splinters on Tue May 19, 2009 9:38 am

    The beauty of American fine dining. Fry it, add bacon, add gravy

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Fri May 22, 2009 12:55 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by missingyoumadly on Fri May 22, 2009 1:38 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Sun May 24, 2009 3:19 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Extant on Thu May 28, 2009 3:36 pm

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    I iz Jezuz Kat...

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by splinters on Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:34 am

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    One Eccentric Artist > Two Abusive Cops

    Post by Lucid Memes on Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:18 pm

    This is probably the coolest video I've seen all week

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    I've never seen anyone react to getting tazered like this...totally amazing


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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:29 pm

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by Lucid Memes on Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:59 pm

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    poor poor Timo Sad


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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

    Post by intrepidpixie on Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:30 pm

    Love it! I`m going to invoke the archangels the next time i`m tasered. May they all ride in on Gabriels tailwind...

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    Re: Try Not To Laugh

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